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Posts Tagged ‘UK Government’

THE WHICH BLAIR PROJECT – CONTROVERSIAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY REVEALS A MAN OF MANY FACES

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

2 September, 2010

IS IT just me or does anyone else have a suspicion that Alastair Campbell might still be pulling strings for Tony Blair?

The former Labour PM’s autobiography is, as you’d expect, hugely controversial – he has a rich retirement to prepare for after he cleans up on the after dinner speaking circuit – but it also smacks of being shaped by the hand of a PR guru.

Alastair Campbell

Alastair Campbell

Tony Blair, for all his success in transforming the fortunes of the Labour Party, was never a man who had a firm grasp of PR. That’s why he employed Alastair Campbell. Campbell was the puppet master and Blair the showbiz frontman. And, boy, did it work.

The problem with running a political party like a PR agency, as the Blair-Campbell dream-ticket discovered, is that the inconsistencies soon start to poke through the facade of quasi-socialism.

And that was ultimately Blair’s undoing. People didn’t know which Tony Blair they were going to get – the young, brave socialist who played electric guitar but has a firm social responsibility, or the blinkered puppet-on-a-string who danced blindly in the shadow of the USA.

His biographical recollections of his time as Prime Minister – the only political post he ever held – are full of such inconsistencies and look like they’ve been moderated by Alastair Campbell’s red pen.

Blair’s greatest moment was, arguably, Election night 1997, when he first came to power. I love his recollection of the night. It’s full of bravado but underlined by a little human uncertainty.

He said: “This was not a win. It was a landslide. After about two hours for a time I actually became worried. The moving line at the bottom of the TV screen was showing over a hundred Labour seats. The Tories had just six. I began to think I had done something unconstitutional.”

Lovely stuff.

When he recalls his fractious relationship with Gordon Brown, Blair reveals himself a man who won’t suffer fools but still maintains a sense of humour.

“I’m afraid I stopped taking his calls. Poor Jon [an adviser] would come in and say: “The chancellor really wants to speak to you.” I would say: “I am really busy, Jon.” And he would say: “He is really demanding it.” Then I would say: ‘I’ll call him soon.” And Jon would say: “Do you really mean that, prime minister?” And I would say: “No, Jon.”.”

But then we move to his memory of 9/11 and the twin towers horror. The quote, to me at least, suggests Campbell has his Rent a PR Quote book out and Blair, for the first time, is starting to behave like a geek in awe of America’s playground bully.

He said on hearing the news the Twin Towers had been attacked: “At that moment, I felt eerily calm despite being naturally horrified at the devastation, and aware this was not an ordinary event but a world-changing one. It was not America alone who was the target, but all of us who shared the same values. We had to stand together.”

More evidence required?

This is what he says, with the benefit of hindsight, about George W Bush. “He was, in a bizarre sense… a true idealist.”

What?

What about this memory of negotiating with the Rev Ian Paisley over the Northern Ireland Peace Deal?

“Once, near the end, he asked me whether I thought God wanted him to make the deal that would seal the peace process. I wanted to say yes, but I hesitated; though I was sure God would want peace, God is not a negotiator.”

God is not a negotiator? Of course he’s not – everyone knows he is, in fact, a DJ.

In all seriousness though Alastair, stop it. Stop writing throwaway PR sound bytes and trying to make them sound like literature. It’s embarrassing. And it gives PR a bad name.

By Adam Moss, News Editor

GORDON BROWN: WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD A MEDIA COURSE HAVE MADE?

Friday, May 14th, 2010

So Gordon Brown thinks things may have been a little different had he reaped the benefits of a media studies course.

Yeah. Right.

Because that’s what they teach you in media studies isn’t it?

Lesson one: Never call a politically out-of-touch old lady a ‘bigot’ when you’ve got a microphone strapped to your lapel.

Lesson two: Develop a sense of humour well in advance of the day before you’re expecting the entire country to vote for you.

Imagine if Mr Brown had enjoyed the experience a media course would have given him.

He’d have still shouted at incompetent ministerial aides wouldn’t he? Media training doesn’t teach you what to do when you lose your temper at the sheer ineptitude of your underlings.

He’d have still called Gillian Duffy a “bigot” when he assumed he was back in the safety of his blacked out government limo. Media Studies doesn’t teach you NEVER to reveal your true feelings does it?

It teaches you the tricks of communication. How to use every available tool in the communications workshop to make your point heard and memorable.

Brown got the ‘memorable’ bit all by himself. His problem was his method of hammering it home. Gordon’s approach was tantamount to using a sledgehammer where a meat tenderiser was all that was required.

His true failing was revealing that, like the rest of us, he’s infallibly human. He swears, cusses, gets angry, argues, is irritated by morons and endures bad moods just like we all do.

Like all ailing superheros, it is that humanity which eventually becomes the fuel of their ultimate downfall.

By Adam Moss, Brazen News Editor

ADAM MOSS TALKS A LOAD OF POLITICS

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

I’VE had enough political junk mail through my letterbox in the last week to build a new House of Commons.

But there have been no knocks at my door from men or women in suits wanting my vote.

I’ve never felt so unwanted.

While Gordon Brown was slagging off Grannies in Rochdale, David Cameron was rolling up the oh-so-carefully pressed sleeves of his starchy white shirt, again, and Nick Clegg was standing on yet another soap-box spouting frothy sentences about how real the new third option now is, I was sitting, with baited breath, kettle at the ready and devil’s advocate speeches rehearsed, waiting for any half decent politico to come and have a go.

It didn’t happen. I waited, and waited. I even made a cup of coffee. Then I waited some more.

What happened to conversation, political debate? Is my front door the wrong colour? Does the fact that I live a few doors down from an undertaker mean I am politically irrelevant?

These, and many more, were the questions running through my mind as I flicked between news channels to see where in the UK our great political thinkers were delivering their latest lines in rehearsed leadership banter.

I would have thought that my vote counted. Particularly because I live in a Labour constituency which has been historically Tory but is marginal to say the least.

Isn’t this exactly the kind of killing field where the great battles of the 2010 General Election are supposed to be taking place.

I expected troops in blue, red and yellow, to be in full street combat outside my house. Instead, I got takeaway-style political leaflets through my letterbox. It’s a bloody shoddy approach to politics.

I voted this morning. None of them deserved it. They’d not even bothered to pretend to be anywhere near my house in the last few weeks.

Leaflets, KFC-style, that’s as cutting edge as this allegedly cut-throat political fight got in Heaton Moor.

I voted for Colonel Saunders. Fried chicken is the future.

By Adam Moss, Brazen News Editor

A LITTLE BIT OF ASH CAUSES A DUNKIRK RE-RUN

Monday, April 19th, 2010

TALK about the over-reaction of the decade.

A few sunburned Brits get stranded abroad because of the Ash Cloud and the Government sends the Royal Navy out to rescue them.

Gordon, take a chill-pill.

They’re hardly at risk of death from a bank of Nazi MGs are they? This isn’t Dunkirk for goodness sake.

And much as the Government would like to think that deploying the might of the navy may be a godsend of a vote winner, the façade that anyone in Westminster really gives two hoots about over-crisped and uber-boozy Brit holidaymakers is flimsier than the resolve of a Sackville Street tart.

They’re planning to send not one but three Royal Navy ships to help return Britons stranded abroad as UK airspace remains restricted.

The highlight of the whole affair for this lover of irony is that the name of the UK’s emergency committee is ‘Cobra’. It surely can’t be a coincidence that that is also the name of one of the UK’s most popular lagers can it?

I’d love to be a fly on the cabin wall of the HMS Ark Royal, HMS Ocean or HMS Albion to see first-hand what happens when Britain’s finest war-ships become home to several thousand Brit booze-cruisers and their off-spring. A booze-cruise with guns sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Plus, there’ll be so much puke in the sea the Spanish will think we’re launching a revenge attack for the Armada.

Let’s hope the Americans buy the film rights to the whole episode. This will make the best big-screen comedy in decades.

Either that or there’ll be enough calamitous home-videos to launch another three series of You’ve Been Framed.

This country. Dear me.

By Adam Moss, Brazen News Editor